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If someone calls you ‘ugly’ have a good comeback and say ‘excuse me, I am not a mirror’.
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
My TV screwed up with the show titles like
how can you screw up this bad
I dont even know what its suppossed to say
THIS IS KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS
AH YES MY FAVORITE SHOW VERY JUMP THINGS
my personal favorite
look its my favorite super hero the chicken Spider-Man
how do you even screw up this badly????
like how even
you’ve never felt self hatred until you’ve heard a recording of your voice
and then i saw my face
and now im a believer
not a trace
of doubt in my mind
im in love
IM A BELIEVER I COULDNT LEAVE HER IF I TRIED